your tears are how you learn and grow

returning to the 'pury!

2009-09-11T22:22:58Z

I go back to Hartpury tomorrow! Omg. I think I've pretty much packed everything, I will be flinging things I've forgotten in a bag in the morning.

My mum is taking me down and she asked Jonny and his mum to come, but Jonny has a hockey match so the lameface can't come =( But yeah, it doesn't matter that much because I'm coming home again on Monday for my driving test on Tuesday. EEK. And if I pass we're going somewhere.

I found what my house at Uni looks like so I'm less concerned about that now. Still concerned about the randomers I'm going to end up living with... especially for the first few days.

I think soon I ought to give up thinking about what I've forgotten and go to bed. It's only a few days I'm there and then I can take whatever I forgot down with me next Monday when I go back. I like the fact I get to come home so soon, it makes it seem less like impending doom!

I'm going to complain at Jonny for a bit and then I will go to bed. =)

ridiculous time of night..!

2009-09-10T19:27:35Z

Somehow last night Jonny and I ended up having a strangely in depth conversation about feelings. o_O There was a lot of me going 'yeah I'd already worked out you liked her [being someone we met over the summer]' and also me going 'but I don't want to go to uni and meet scary people, why can't I just keep you in my bag?!' He said no. =(

He was being incredibly sweet but saying I can't depend on him forever which sucksssss. I wish I could. Also we were talking about the girl he likes and things he kept saying things that made me want to puke. xD I just can't help feeling a bit iffy about them being together but it might just be me being a bit jealous or something. =/ Ehh.

We ended up staying up talking until about 4.30am and I was actually surprisingly awake until I thought about going to bed. And then I managed to get up at 10am whereas Jonny didn't get up til gone 1pm! Lazy bugger. We went for a walk up on Old Winchester Hill this afternoon with Mike, the dog and my Dad too. But he went totally quiet on me and didn't say anything about anything. So i jabbered on about wanting to go riding when we were going past a place where they had a cross country course and things. Winner.

We're looking forward to the pilgrimage next year, it's in Wales so not too far from Gloucester where I am, so I think I'll be doing some scouting around. That's part of the pilgrimage I like a lot, seeing the places we'll be going for the first time. It's fun. We do need to decide on an official route though before Sunday to get votes on it at the meeting.

Anyway, I need to find something entertaining to do this evening... maybe I'll watch a film...

she's bringing in the light part 2..

2009-09-09T22:25:34Z

she's bringing in the light...

2009-09-09T21:28:25Z

So today was a better day thankfully. Sat around the whole morning, watched Bend it like Beckham, then talked to Jonny who said they'd come pick me up within half an hour to go to Southampton. I rush and get ready super fast and they don't turn up for over an hour. Lameeee. The one time I'm ready!

Anyway. Went to Jonny's house for uni this year, moved around furniture then went to the letting place and laughed at Jonny's bad handwriting. Then Fran [Jonny's sister] had bought us SHEEP BISCUITS! Basically they were gingerbread men but they had sheep on them. Epic!

Then we went to Ikea and just as we walked in THEY WERE PLAYING ABBA! It made me happy. Went round and picked up some things I need for uni aka pans and crap. [Except my mother has just complained about everything I bought I think. -le sigh-] But I was just with Jonny and we finished quickly and paid. Went and sat on a sofa near the kids area and watched Finding Nemo, which they had playing, whilst we waited for the others. Which was about half an hour in the end. <_<

And then we came home! It was pretty entertaining despite sounding very dull. Flailed about dinner cause I was so hungry then watched Monarch of the Glen, SO AWESOME. It was the one where Paul arrives! I love Paul! Haaaaa. Then Mum came home and wanted to watch the football. =/ But actually, it was quite entertaining cause some random guy ran on the pitch, the commentator said 'FIESTY ONE YOU ARE!' and England won 5 -1.

And now I'm just realising all my music is rather depressing, I have hardly any happy music and I need more. So to combat this I am singing in Punjabi! Bride & Prejudice soundtrack ftw!

so fed up!

2009-09-08T16:00:29Z

I had my driving lesson this morning, all went well.

I get home, have some lunch and Jonny suggests we go to the beach when his mum gets home. Mike has done something that means she's now in a terrible mood so the beach is out. I suggest he comes down to mine to escape but he doesn't want to ask his mum she's in a bad mood. So that's fine.

Then my sister phones and says her car is finished at the accident repair people so should be back this afternoon or tomorrow morning. They close at 5 so I thought they would bring it in the morning.

Then the flooring guy turns up wanting the floor sample books back. I can't find them, phone both the parents who don't answer so he leaves. Mum then phones back and is like 'oh they were on the front door step!'. WTF?! What's the point of putting them there?! Especially when you don't tell me a) the guy is coming and b) the things are on the door step BEHIND A CAR so he couldn't see them from the road!

And then Jonny snapped at me for asking if he was gonna come down here again cause I'm bored and fed up of being alone.

And then my sister phones and says they're bringing her car back this afternoon and they'll be here in half an hour or so. SO now I have to check over her car for scratches and things and give them the paperwork. And my dad phoned and was like 'ooh sorry, I thought you'd be at your driving lesson when the floor man came!'

Well obviously I'm not! And now he won't be back for two hours cause he's working in Bristol. ffs.

we're going down.

2009-09-07T22:02:44Z

asdfghgfddf. I have a driving lesson tomorrow which I cannot be bothered with. I ought to go to bed. I don't want to. I want to watch Band of Brothers but I don't have it.

I guess a driving lesson actually gives me something to get up for. It's no wonder I was so bored today, I was up at 9. That's wrong. Morally.

I still need some company, Jonny never came over like he said he would. And I need a hug. =(

fail.

2009-09-07T18:18:32Z

I had to go up to the village shop today so I was like, oh yes, I'll be awesome and go on my bike.

I didn't think I'd gone very quickly or anything but I got there and was quite hot. Stood in the queue and started to feel a bit dodgy, dizzy, really hot and a bit sick. Picked up a bottle of Lucozade and then began to feel awful. It started to go black in front of my eyes and fuzzy in my ears and I had to rush outside and sit on a bench with my head between my knees.

Nearly threw up a few times, my legs were shaking so badly and I nearly fainted a couple times. I must have sat there for 20 - 30 minutes. Scared the poor ladies in the shop too. I was sheet white apparently. Not fun! I had to get my aunt to come and pick me up and take me home, leaving my bike at my grans.

A bit of a fail episode, I plan not to do it again.

i hate waiting!

2009-09-07T11:03:24Z

I'm currently sitting around at home waiting for the accident repair people to bring my sisters car back. But they're still not here. And I hate waiting, especially when I have other things to do. I need to go to the shop and get our washing liquid refilled and things but as soon as I leave the house they'll turn up, no doubt!

I'm home alone, no-one is online and there is nothing to dooooo. I'm watching random crap on TV and just sitting here. I got so used to having people around, being alone is really weird. I don't need to talk to them really, just have them there. I need company! D=

hallelujah

2009-09-06T21:44:50Z

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Mabye I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time
You let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving to
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a god above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

ew.

2009-09-06T19:54:36Z

So I'm sitting here bored out of my skull eating too much crappy food and wallowing.

I want to be with fun people doing something fun. =[

about right.

2009-09-05T23:00:42Z

I had one of those evenings which made me happy. Just hanging out with the previously mentioned cousins. Perhaps I should name them now? It's getting rather confusing. The amazing one is Jonny, the other one is Mike. Basically I spent aaaages with Jonny tonight making pizzas and things. He is actually the best. He can cook! Jesus, whoever he falls in love with is gonna be one lucky bitch.

He was talking to a certain someone on msn though which made me feel kind of odd. The fact he has her msn and never mentioned it to me despite the fact I'm friends with her too, yeah, that's a bit irksome. But it doesn't even matter, he's my friggin' cousin, he can do what he likes.

We watched Pirates of the Caribbean, I forgot how amazing the soundtrack is! Seriously need to download that. It'd be perfect for walking along in a strange mood. Which happens surprisingly often. Like now, I would like to listen to it.

I think I feel a bit like a spare part at the moment. Whilst walking I felt like I got replaced by certain girl mentioned before in many ways, firstly to Jonny, but also in general in our group. I used to be the random funny girl who everyone liked talking to. I hardly talked to anyone this year. I just felt unwanted. Which really hits hard to me seeing as it's happened before, being totally unwanted by people you thought were your friends. And I pretend I'm all hard and can take it but when something like that happens it doesn't go away, I'm not that sort of person. Things stay with me for a long time.

I almost feel like I've missed out on half my life, things have been happening to me but I haven't noticed them happening. Either I'm instantaneously loveable or else I was totally making friends with people and being completely distant at the same time. I don't remember things happening. It's a very weird feeling to have. Especially when someone says you've influenced them and you don't know how.
I must finally be going over the edge in the land of crazy. But now the shit battery on this laptop is about to run out so I have to go to sleep.

i'm cultural.

2009-09-05T17:12:03Z

i'm watching the proms. winner. and i got lunched. then we walked up a down.

soon i am going to make a pizza. awesome.

the cats are lunatics.

2009-09-05T09:32:58Z

They keep jumping on each other. They're SUPERRRR angry today!

OH GOD

2009-09-04T21:38:01Z

JONATHON ROSS! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!

we had a rather interesting adventure.

2009-09-04T21:14:57Z

So we finally decided where we wanted to go to on our adventure today, seeing as our plans fell through yesterday. Even if, as per usual, we didn't leave until nearly an hour after we meant to! We went to Queen Elizabeth Country Park, via Tesco and a picnic in the car, for a wander.

We got a fair amount of food for four of us...which is always awesome. Food = win. Then we had a picnic in the car, we were basically doing a Top Gear road test of the car, finding every good and bad point of it. There are quite a few bad points. Stupid engine, stupid boot, stupid seats, stupid stereo. The only good things were the cup holders. There's millions of them! We did manage a sort-of picnic in the end so it was all good.

Did some hopping around the car park as I tried to get my wellies on before we found a map and set on our way. We were delayed by the Tots Play Area almost immediately which was pretty entertaining. The activities were....small. So we had a few issues being that we are quite a lot taller than tots generally are. We pottered along until we got to a hill, my cousins and I pelted it up the hill leaving my sister behind. We've had a bit of practise with hills, she however, has not! We did find the Adventure Trail for older people further round, it was quite lame but also quite funny when one of my cousins tried to roll under something and just managed to hit himself on it instead.

We then decided to go and find a view from the top of a hill...and we missed several turnings in the process and had to turn around a few times. We saw a view. It included hills and trees and sea and the Isle of Wight. How exciting. We then headed home. Not a very interesting end to our journey. But we had fun, despite the crappy car. The sun shone which was nice of it.

We're meeting up with a family friend for lunch tomorrow then later the Old's are going out for dinner so I think it's just me and the two cousins, my sister and their sister are going places, so we have to make ourselves some food or something. Could be pretty entertaining! At least one of them can cook. =]

I feel like going to bed early again tonight...I quite like that idea. I still haven't found my book though, I'm quite concerned, it cost me 50p!

jnr;'W;GMN;RJHLAEKhfbgsdhk

2009-09-02T21:45:41Z

I wish my mother wouldn't moan at me about things. Or say things in 'that tone'. Because I am NEVER going to do them if she says it like that, it just makes me bloody angry at her. I hate it with a passion.

She's complaining at me about going to the bank and sorting out a bank account for uni and another thing I hate is going places and doing important things. I hate talking to people like that, it makes me nervous and makes me worry that I don't know the answers even if I do. Stupid sadfghjfytr. I'd be fine if someone came with me and told me what to do, I really panic when I'm in new situations. Hence the panicking about uni. Why can't I just stay here? Or take my cousin with me? He knows lots of things and even if he doesn't he makes things seem safe.

We did have a bit of a kerfuffle in the kitchen making a banana cake earlier. I invited him over to help make it cause he was home alone and bored. I'm normally the principal cake maker in our house. He decides to take over and tuts at me for being all OCD about how I do things! It's MY cake making! =[ But I wouldn't have it any other way. My sister called us tards in her facebook status but it doesn't matter cause we're awesome anyway. =D

Hopefully going on an adventure somewhere tomorrow. Either Moors Valley Country Park or possibly Portsmouth except that would tempt me to spend money I don't have... =/ Not such a good move when about to start university. Why am I broke? Oh yeah, because I just gave my sister £20 for my Hollister tshirt and various other things she'd been holding captive until I paid the ransom. But now I have my lovely Hollister tshirt that I may wear tomorrow...

And on that happy note I think I shall go to bed and avoid being bemoaned for anything else.

good day.

2009-09-01T20:52:57Z

Yes, that is what it has been. I did have to get up raaaaather earlier than I'd have liked because I had a driving lesson but it went pretty well I think, my instructor reckons I'm on track for my test which is excellent. I can't wait until I can drive so I can go where I like!

My sister and I went to Sainsburys but she wouldn't let me buy anything I wanted. =[ It made me sad. But we picked up my two cousins on the way home cause apparently they were bored. So I spent the whole afternoon sitting around with them. Especially the one I mentioned yesterday, trying to choose photos from the barren north to put on facebook. It's an epic task, there are SO many pictures and the uploader is incredibly slow. It's not a fun job. However looking at all the photos is. There are some really funny ones. Very good memories of an awesome time.

For some reason now though it's not even 10pm and I really want to go to bed. I'm really tired for no reason. I do however wish to decide on somewhere we can go on adventure to... When we get bored we decide on a place to go to and have a super fun time taking lots of random photos. It's very fun. I'm not sure where we could go though, we've been to the New Forest and things numerous times but we can't go that far afield. My sister suggested Chichester but I don't think that's much of an adventure really.. =/

I bought some random kitchen utensils from Sainsburys for uni but I am still panicking a lot, even though I spent last year away from home it's totally different. Ahhhhh. Not fun.

Ahahahaha. I'm watching The Choir on tv and some of the people trying to do the solo realllllly cannot sing. Oh my. Not pleasant. Never mind eh.

I think I shall try and sneak away soon so I can go to bed. What a lazypoo.

Mateeeee.

2009-08-31T21:47:16Z

So! I'm back from the barren north of England. I had an absolutely awesome time. I walked 190 miles or so, I amazed myself to be honest. But I am so glad I did it. It really just shows what you can do when you put your mind to it.

I made a few really good friends whilst walking, and also my cousin and I became closer. He is actually so amazing, and basically my best friend. However I think if you saw us and didn't know we were related you would think we were together...which is kind of wrong. I quite often link arms with him and he puts his arm round me. Err, nothing going on there then. He is such a sweetheart and also very daft but super amazing too. I did get rather ridiculously annoyed with him at one point cause he turned a bit funny with two girls who were walking with us which pee'd me off greatly but I missed him so much in that time. In the car on the way home yesterday he kept falling asleep on my shoulder and when we got back he invited himself over today and probably tomorrow. His house is apparently too boring.

Anyway, enough talking about him. I'm worrying a lot about starting university in a couple weeks, especially as I start so early compared to other places. And it means I actually have to work hard and be independent cause I'm living in Gloucester not on campus any more. This I regret. I suck at making new friends really, I can't talk to new people at all. Also we have two freshers weeks and everyone will be out getting drunk and so on which I don't want to do. So that will make me more isolated. I'll just have to wait and see I guess... but also I need to make sure I pass my driving test so I can get home or somewhere whenever I can. I'd just go and find somewhere quiet to get away to. A nice hill perhaps. I like the sound of that. Or I'll just drive to Southampton to see aforementioned cousin. =/

But now I ought to go to bed, I have a driving lesson at 9am tomorrow which is a bit rubbish, I don't want a driving lesson. However I do want to pass my test so I'll accept it.

oh em gee

2009-08-14T18:46:21Z

Where have I been?!

Sort of forgot I had a Livejournal account, actually not really, just didn't use it. BUT NOW I WILL! I have been ordered to..

Not really a very good start. I'm about to leave to go up north for a couple weeks. WINNER. But if I can bug the computer of my father I will try and update this otherwise very dire blog. (Y)

oh the lobsters!

2008-06-08T20:57:39Z

today i went to the beach! and so did everyone else in the country. <_<

man it was hot today, for england anyway, up to like 27 celcius or something! and it felt especially hot cause my sisters car has no air conditioning and we spent a lot of time on a car lot looking at a new car for said sister [which thankfully had air con]. cars really radiate heat! haha.

going to see this car was the main reason for going to bournemouth really, we just went to the beach afterwards for a bit. but looking at the car was fun! it's a turquoise [mistral blue] clio, 54 reg, diesel. not bad tbh for nearly five grand. whilst we were waiting on the salesman to get back to us on a price he'd give us for the part exchange on our peugeot 307cc we decided to look at the other cars. this was interesting.

there was a metallic purple ford fiesta, a couple of nice corsas i quite wanted, a land rover freelander than was in a bit of a state and they only wanted £1750 for it [!!!] and finally the love of my life. this gorgeousssssss 56 reg, black range rover. omg, i died. and the door was open! so we peered in the passenger side and had a look at all the fancy gadgets and whatnot. then muriel decided to get in it! i was like 'O_O, if she's doing that i'm getting in too!' so i run round and get in the drivers side of this range rover. it was so freaking comfy, like an armchair on wheels. it was amazing. my sister took a picture of me sitting in it too so i'll post that at some point. that is now my aim in life, get ric hand buy a range rover. dude, you could have so much fun with it! shame about the crap fuel consumption!

anyway, after all this we made a deal on the clio and 307 then headed off to the beach for a bit. went down to boscombe just along from bournemouth, every single car park was full so we turned round and headed to southbourne which was busy but not as much. got some lunch from sainsburys [again didn't take zoe! D=] then ate it on the cliff top before wandering down onto the promenade. walked past the busy bit to a quieter bit and paddled our feet for a bit. there's them proper classy pictures of me in the sea, haha. eventually continued on past another really busy bit and went back to the cars. we were meant to test drive the clio at this point but the guy was on the phone having sold my range rover. D= so we're picking it up on friday afternoon me thinks.

anyway, came home in the sauna of a car via some traffic jams and the like to get the barbeque going. had a really nice evening with the family, ate too much food as per usual but hey, that's what a barbeque's for right? and took many pictures the whole day. might post some. idk.

i'm so tired now and a little pink, nowhere near as pink as some of the idiots on the beach today though. it was gross. eugh, there was one particular person who looked like a beached whale in a lobster costume, why would you do that?! wear suncream people!

my name is odd job girl

2008-06-07T21:25:23Z

so i got my checklist for hartpury this morning, it's the length of my arm and going to cost me my soul. well, almost. it's blooming long and expensive though.

there's so much stuff i need and they make you wear a kind of uniform, it's worse than boarding school! <_< but it's all worth it. today i started trying to earn some money towards this stuff by helping my dad strim long grass and nettles down the road so people can see out of the junction [basically i stood around in a fluorescent vest making sure people didn't drive into him]. then i swept the drive which was thrilling.

next we went to granny's and collected her stuff to go to the tip then went back home for lunch. picked up granny and muriel and went to the tip then on to winchester to do some shopping. went to scats countrystore first and got a navy silk for my riding hat and also some hairnets [things on the checklist], then went to homebase and bought boring things. then to tesco which was chaotic and not half as fun as going to sainsburys with zoe would be. xD

came home and had a doughnut then i was set to work painting the shed with weatherproofing stuff. it took me about two hours to do one side of the shed [we have a big shed] and dad is only paying me £5 to do the whole thing. bah. came in for some dinner after that cause it was getting dark. i'll have to finish that at some point. i should point out my sexy painting outfit at the point. a pair of old tracksuit bottoms with a hole in them, an oversized navy polo neck that belonged to my father and finally my old wellies that split. i didn't want paint on my nice hunter wellies.

tomorrow my sister decided we were going to go somewhere seeing as my great aunt muriel is over from canada for a bit. so we're going to bournemouth. but that's also to test drive a car my sister wants which we might be getting in part exchange for my mums car. one of my mums cars i should say, she has two at the moment for some reason.

i'll have more odd jobs to do over the next i don't know how long to try and earn money to buy all the things i need. but i don't mind cause it's all worth it. and i like shopping for horsey stuff. :P i might put an ad around the village for odd jobs, dog walking, that sort of thing. whatever i can do.

but hey, having such a busy day [it was busy, it doesn't sound so busy on e-paper] kept me off the computer which i need badly. i spend too much time on here. but i missed my hmf kids. spesh zoe. but i bought horse and house in tesco and there's an ad for the horse of the year show which is near my birthday and mum suggested going. obv i was like OMG YES! because emma is already going for the puissance and zoe always goes for the puissance so i could actually meet those two which would be so freaking awesome! haha.

now i'm going to get back to searching for cheap horsey stuff. woo!

are we like you? i can't be sure!

2008-06-06T10:34:49Z

good morning!

haha. supergrass is on the radio. and jo whiley was like 'this is supergrass' then accidentally played panic at the disco so part way into panic they had to change it. xD and now supergrass has finished they're playing panic. oh lol.

i'm currently sat in my room in the dark, the curtains are still closed and i'm in my pjs as per usual. but i'm kind of awake! i want to go out and do things! liiiiiiike, man, idk. i should really stop saying man. and dude. and lol. and haha. and baha. and all those stupid things.

what i should do is go have a shower and then do some writing whilst sitting in the sun outside. will i heck. i will have a shower and i want to do some writing but outside?! ehh no.

last night emma from hmf said that if you thought of something before you went to sleep you'd dream about it. well i had been listening to mcfly all day so i thought i'd dream about mcfly. no. i dreamt about snow, elliot minor, people i hadn't seen in a long time and a very version of my old school.

basically i started by sitting on this bank of snow by the side of a road which i presume was up to the school, the road was very icy and people were having huge trouble driving up it. most people made it up but one person who was going down stopped halfway for some reason and someone coming up was coming really fast and drove into the car that was stopped. it was about to hit the bank where i was sat [with other people but idk who] and someone pulled me down this tunnel under the snow out of the way of the car. moments later i turned round and came out of the tunnel and all the snow and cars was gone. i sat on the end of the tunnel next to someone and started singing 'born to run' [mcfly/springsteen] and someone sat on the other side of the person next to me and started singing too, turned out to be this guy i knew when i was in primary school, who knows why. and then the person in the middle turned and looked at me and it was alex from elliot minor. he was like 'why are you singing?' so i said 'idk' and carried on singing and he joined in. but then he disappeared back down the tunnel which changed into a load of corridors going different places and i followed alex who then turned into teddy from elliot minor. i managed to follow him onstage but left by a door on the opposite side of the stage before i realised i was onstage despite the people screaming at me, people who seemed to know my name. it was weird. and when i came out the other side i was collected by this woman who was a teacher and was like 'why were you on the stage?!' and i pulled the pathetic 'i didn't realise!' thing and she let me off. but she took this heart shaped piece of paper and wrote something on it then let it go out a window and it flew away whilst she yelled 'teacher, incoming mail!'. then i felt like i was the flying heart, that made me feel unwell. xD but suddenly me and this woman were outside with these other teachers standing by what looked like a float for a parade but under a bit sheet. they pulled the sheet off and this big arched raised up and it said' terry wogan - eurovision!' or something like that. i was so confused. i was then walking through the DT department of my old school, saw my tutor and the evil nazi goth guy who was like eating spam or something. yerr.. then i was outside again by the arch and a whole building had appeared, they pulled this curtain back and it was everyone watching elliot minor playing but on a bouncy castle! and when they saw me they all started screaming and i got pulled into the crowd and chucked on stage and made to sing 'born to run' with alex. god it was weird!

i must admit the song i've had in my head for the last couple of days is 'born to run' so that bit i can understand, but the rest?! xD

but hey. last night was good. i was up til half 1 or so talking to zoe, emma and laura in one big conversation on msn. it was awesome. and me and zoe decided we'd go see mcfly at wolverhampton together when they tour. :D cause i'll be in gloucester and she's in church stretton which isn't TOO far from gloucester. it'd be muchos fun! hehe.

anywayyyy. i'm gunna go have a shower and stuff. do some writing maybe! lolz.

we don't, we don't care!

2008-06-05T18:10:29Z

So here's another song for the radio,
And here's another line from the heart,
So don't pretend you hate us when you sing along,
'cause we all look the same in the dark.

(Y) new mcfly song ftw! i've listened to it so many times now. srsly, it's unhealthy. cannot freaking wait for the album. i sincerely hope my sisters boyfriend does his job working for lastfm and gets it early for me, if not i'm making him buy me the cd and bring it with him when he comes to canada four days after me and my sister go. he gets pummelled if he doesn't get it. three weeks in without my boys?! no chance!

speaking of canada my new passport came today. it means that whilst i'm in canada and we go to niagara falls we can go to the american side as well. apparently it's better than the canadian side. lmao. typical eh?

but then i'm back home for a week or something after canada and then i go on the pilgrimage for two weeks. and i will definitely need mcfly by then so i can either bug the hell out of my cousins with them or listen to it to ignore my cousins. <_<

OOH i finished the film in my camera so i can send them off to be developed now! :D i doubt any of the pictures are much good, lots of flowers from non-interesting views. and also the camera was having trouble focusing on some things..ah well.

but i'm going to uppark [stately home] with my sister, gran, great aunt and a load of old ladies on tuesday and dad said i could take his D70 so i'll get lots of yummy pictures to play with. i still need to get the photos i took off my sisters camera, she's not put them on the network yet and i want them! there were some rly cute pictures of my cat tom! <3

ughh. i'd better go help cook dinner. no doubt my family [my mother especially] will find something to be pissy with me about at some point this evening for no apparent reason. just cause she's stressed does not mean she can take it out on me because i've finished college. so what if there's a mess in the kitchen? didn't she always tell me as a child that if it was my mess i had to clean it up? well that's exactly the rule i go by, clean up your own freaking mess and don't have a go at me. i'm not your slave, i am your daughter.

-curses lj-

2008-06-05T10:42:09Z

why wouldn't you let me type last night?! grr.

but anyway. i'm here now. i doubt that's a good thing.

it's nearly midday and i'm still in my pjs. everyone else has gone out. my sister went to college and my dad..well he might have gone with her or he might have gone to work, i'm not quite sure but either way he left his phone behind and it keeps ringing. O__O and scary people phone him. so no chance i'm answering it!

i'm not sure what to do with myself at the moment, college is finished and i have nothing to do. well i started writing a story thing but i keep not knowing what to write..and then there's globes writing challenge on hmf and also writing contest 11. and i say i'll do these things but i have no idea what to write. x_x

i also need to finish the film in my camera so i can take it and the other one to be developed, but that's gonna cost me money. as are my jodhpurs. and then i'm expected to buy myself something nice to wear for my mums birthday. and it's like wtf? i'm trying to save money here and you go and tell me to buy more clothes?! gahh.

i want to know how to do this "lj-cut" thing so i can link long posts to other places..help?!